We are about to adopt my son’s first Assistance Dog - Harry.

Harry is a KCC—King Charles Cavalier—and is currently five weeks old. He is a very precious little bean. He will come home to live with us at the end of May. Harry will eventually get his blue jacket—worn by certified Assistance Dogs or “ADs”—after he passes the Public Access Test (or “PAT”).

Training will be a long, long road, which is okay. But it will be well worth it.

I hope that Harry can be a companion and friend to my Ripley to help him navigate the rocky teenage years and transition to high school. These times are really tough for Autie bubs. I would like for him to have a comrade in arms who happens to have four legs, knows how to respond to him when he’s having a hard time, and can tag along to school, medical appointments, etc.

I won’t talk too much about Rip’s experiences; they are his. They are not mine to share. But I am glad that Harry will be a part of our family.

Another reason Harry is coming to live with us is that exercise is a key tool in the fight against lymphoma - which it seems likely these angry lump(s) are about. I have surgery this week to remove one for dissection, so we can get a definitive answer on this. I don’t know if my future holds chemo, or radio, or nothing. I don’t know and wish I did, but I don’t.

The rather hectic biopsy of the key node in my neck showed that one type of lymphoma has been ruled out, but still on the table are Hodgkin’s and auto-immune diseases. My bloods are a woeful story of inflammation and “you sick dude”. Yup. I’m aware.

I do know that my health is in the loo and that every time I move my body, I feel better. I do know that lymphoma responds positively to exercise, and this lifts the 5-year survival rate in almost everyone. I do know I need to change how I eat, and while this is challenging for me as an Autistic with sensory issues around food and fine motor issues around food prep, I am on the way to doing it—because staying alive is pretty good.

Lots of exercise will help. Harry is as much for me as he is for Rip. I often struggle with anxiety on walks and having a dog to take for a walk, to train and to also have in place as a social connector - these are good things. So yep, Harry will be the MVP (along with Sushi Cat and the Sweet Potatoes - our guinea pigs - who supply ample dopamine through cuddles!).

The big thing we will need to start thinking about is training. Positive training that is attachment-based and builds on connection and trust.

All dogs need some form of training to live well with humans. They are not cats (who are essentially anarchic and respect no authority!) They need structure (I can relate!), clear boundaries, and a plan for how to be part of the family.

There are a lot of forms of dog training, and Harry will need to do a lot of it to be ready for his PAT and blue jacket. ADs require intensive education to be ready to enter public spaces with their humans. They have a really important job, and they need a lot of support to understand how to do it. They need to be able to focus on their human, and not get distracted by other people, loud noises, and so on.

Of course, there are better and worse ways to train dogs. We will be doing positive dog training that is focused on building relationships. When we go to meet Harry, I will ensure I am not in the room—I want the focus to be on Ripley and Harry bonding (as much as I want to enjoy puppy cuddles, too, what matters is their connection from the start).

We will first focus on building that connection. Much less on training to start and on building a very strong and tight line between Rip and Harry.

It is very exciting. There’s a lot of work ahead. But that’s the nature of relationships. x